I started this post at 10:40 p.m. - 80 minutes before tomorrow. Tomorrow is April 1st - April Fool's Day and the first Day of National Poetry Writing Month. Tomorrow is the first Monday after Spring Break. (April damn Fool's INDEED!) I always dread this part of Sunday.
April is supposed to be a month of "CAPITAL 'A' Art" for me. I'm supposed to write a poem every day this month, I plan to attend poetry events with hope of getting inspired, and Robert Glasper is coming to town. April is supposed to be my month! My reality check, however, arrived on time and was directly deposited in my creative account. In the memo section, it read "You must do this IN ADDITION to everything else on your overflowing agenda." That thought makes me tired.
(66 minutes left) Per my last post, I'm a business owner, which means I'm trying this self-care I call "life design." Rather than just dreaming about arting, I'm trying to manifest a life of it, so the back end of my life will leave time for ACTUAL life. It also means I pay regular taxes and regulatory fees for my DC-domiciled venture. (You DON'T want to know how much I just paid the nation's capital either! Well, maybe you do, but I DON'T want to tell you!) Charging all that money over my Spring Break didn't exactly help me rest as much as I needed, but it did strike a chord. I'm PAYING for a business that I need to focus on running well! I need to be intentional with my time and energy!
On April 2nd, I will half-celebrate one year as a business owner. This is the hardest thing I've ever done, and in many ways, I'm just really getting started in the direction I want to propel. I'm half-celebrating because the other half of me is reflecting on what I must do to make it to 2020 with bigger gains, how I can improve the way I work, and how I will make it to next year with my entire mind.
I hope I figure out all three of these things in the nine months remaining in 2019. So...with 43 minutes left, I'm signing off to go order some marketing tees, edit my book teaser trailer, and eat two or three eggos. Don't judge me. I already told you how hard this shit is. Now, I must show this shit how hard I am.